HI, I'M DANIEL

A chronic health condition woke me up to become responsible for living my life. Even within present limitations, I have more life than I ever have because of the relationship I have with my experience.

 

Before this illness, I lived a life that was constantly in motion, never allowing myself to pause. When I did ‘rest’ my mind was still chaotic, my body buzzing with pressures and judgements on myself, an experience of not feeling settled. I excessively pursued financial wealth, used social media as a tool to respond to insecurities, and felt what I perceived as a need to please others. I was unconsciously creating pathways to avoid facing the cause of these beliefs, feelings and behaviours. At no fault of my own, just doing the best I could.

I would constantly avoid social situations and uncomfortable conversations, often passing judgment on others. I held onto the belief that my happiness relied on attaining a specific 'x' in life, oblivious to the fact that 'x' was merely a distant notion, typically a materialistic possession. As I accumulated more, my desires only grew stronger, leading me into an ongoing pursuit where my wants never aligned with my genuine needs. This left my body in a constant state of stress and strain and my response to it was to create more…

 

My body reached a breaking point and forced me to halt the incessant busyness that I was ignorant to, not because I didn’t know it was happening but because I didn’t know there was a place for it to be welcomed and supported, I wasn’t aware that there were other ways to respond to my experience. I wasn’t stopped just for a day, a week, or months, but over a year as I write this it’s been over 4 now. The symptoms were so strong, debilitating and broad, I felt helpless, a victim to my experience, scared, angry and sad. I was determined to work this illness out. I spent thousands doing every test and scan I could imagine, working with lung specialists, neurologists, cardiologists, endocrinologists, gastroenterologists, functional medicine practitioners, and Microbiome experts, within this, I was simultaneously trying all kinds of different therapies. The illness still carried on persisting with such intensity, symptoms broadening, I was existing in this persistent space of debilitation, not knowing where to go or what to do next.

 

I worked as a nutritionist, personal trainer and health coach before this experience, so during such a systemic reaction, I had confidence I was feeding my body appropriately, supplementing certain ingredients to influence my recovery, and creating a sleeping routine which was maximising my rest and recovery. Although I still didn’t feel safe, symptoms continued to flat line and go through phases or increase and slightly decrease in severity. for more context 4 months of this experience I hired a carer to look after my needs as my energy was so compromised. I was fortunate enough to financially facilitate this...

 

​